Monday, November 15, 2010

Why Can't I Be More Angry?

I Facebook-Lurked on a tirade today between two parents, one I know, one I don't know, but both with kids in Special Ed in PPS.

They were pissed (for lack of a better word). Yelling, kicking, screaming pissed. About lack of funding, about PPS seeking a maintenance of effort waiver from the Federal government because they can't meet guidelines, about available funds not being used for education but instead being diverted to lawsuits that fight educational demands.

Yeah, I know it ain't good.

Still, watching their angered interchange actually upset me. I felt...defensive. And no, I do not work for PPS.

Why were they so angry? I am all about expressing feelings, but this level of anger, as justified as it might me, really seems wrong to me. So I pondered and I wondered, all morning long. Why was I disturbed by this?

And then, as I picked Olivia and then Isaac up from their respective special Ed programs, smiled and chatted with teachers and aides, I finally figured it out.

Waste of energy. They were wasting energy, a nuclear amount. If one of my own kids had such a meltdown, it would inevitably end with a monster nap. How could we take this energy and put it towards something that they (and we) can actually use? I have met a few parents during this journey that have ranted in a similar fashion to me, and when I asked a few key questions, I had found out that as much as they love their kids and want the best, ranting is as far as they got in communicating their frustration to PPS. And if their ranting is anything like my husbands ranting at the Blazers during a game, I doubt it is every effective.

I just refuse to get that upset anymore. I did during (what I will start calling) the Roseway Incident, and man was that exhausting. It was not good. I don't think I can do it again so easily.

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