Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I'm Trying

I have been fussing over my most recent posting for days now. Now, I am never the most eloquent of bloggers to begin with, but when I am truly stressed, I seize up a bit.

Isaac is starting to show real signs of anxiety at his new school. It was to be expected, and I have been looking for signs for the past 3 weeks. I like to live in la-la-land, and had hoped that we could skip this part of the new transition. And to give the kid some credit, the anxiety has been only slightly visible at school. Instead, home has been a mine field. He's been high strung, making silly demands, defiant, and argumentative. It is a departure for him.

So this is what I think it is. At school he has been surrounded by kids with their own behavior issues. Every day, he has to stop and remind himself to NOT push, to NOT get angry, to NOT freakout when someone else in his class is pushing, angry, freaking out. Yesterday he said one of the boys punched him in the stomach. "But it didn't hurt, mom, and I told Mr. K and (the boy) got a time out and no stars for the day". Oh, so proud. But all day at school he has to be on high alert, surrounded by kids who are fighting their own behavior demons. At some point, will Isaac crack? Is it too much to be in a CB class? Have I pushed him over the edge with the addition of Gymnastics, Karate, and Piano? WTF am I doing?

Then there is Olivia, who for no apparent reason (other than it is the fall, and she did this last fall as well), has decided that she does not like other kids near her age (older kids and her brother are OK). She runs behind trees, tries to hide under my shirt/skirt, and has socially shut down. Argh. When this happened last year, we finally had to pull her out of school and take a two month break (while Isaac was being home schooled having been kicked out of Roseway and awaiting a placement decision). Oh, fun times. This time, we are getting therapy and pushing through.

Argh again. Anxiety has been one of the biggest issues we have dealt with in our little ASD bubble. And it is not going to get any easier as the get older, is it?


  1. Hang in there - I hope the transition-anxiety will settle down at least a little as Isaac (and the other kids) figure out what's expected of them. And I really appreciate that WFT am I doing? moment. I have them frequently. I rely on advice from my sister-in-law - you try something for awhile, then try something else, and so on, and see what helps and what doesn't. That there's no way to really know what is the right thing until after you try stuff.

  2. You are so right Susie. Need to remember that!